


Freaky Angelic Shit

by Qzil



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, F/M, Weird Biology, throat ovaries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-17
Updated: 2015-09-17
Packaged: 2018-04-21 06:51:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4819358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qzil/pseuds/Qzil
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel wants to have a baby. Meg is about to learn that angels are a bit weirder than she thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Freaky Angelic Shit

**Author's Note:**

> My friend Jon (spideybutt) on tumblr jokingly replied to one of my posts with 'Megstiel can has throat ovaries' and this happened. Jon, look what you made me do.

Meg stared at Castiel. A heartbeat passed, then two, and she sighed heavily. She’d agreed to try to have a baby with him mainly just to shut him up. As far as she knew, it was impossible for the two of them to cross breed. She was a demon, a corrupted human soul built for hellfire and destruction. Not for mothering. 

Still, it would shut him up. They would try, they would fail, and she could move on with her life. 

She sat down on the bed and crossed her legs. Castiel fidgeted nervously next to the bed, his hands playing over his belt. She quirked an eyebrow at him. “Well? You’re the one who wanted to do this.”

“I know,” he said quietly. “I just hope it takes.”

Meg shrugged out of her robe and uncrossed her legs. “What are you worried about? We’ve done this a hundred times.”

Castiel’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Why are you taking off your robe?”

Meg stared back at him, equally confused. “We’re having sex?”

“No, we’re making a baby. It’s different,” he insisted. “You needn’t be naked for it.”

Meg slowly stood up. They’d had rushed sex with their clothes half-on plenty of times, but she got the feeling that Castiel was talking about something else. “You need to explain just what the Hell is going on.”

“We’re making a baby,” he repeated. “Angel children are not gestated in the womb.”

Meg took a step back and reached for her robe. “Then were the Hell do the little parasites hang out for forty weeks?”

“Two years,” he corrected. “They grow in the chest cavity, close to your heart, of course.”

“Of course,” she echoed. “Of course. Because _that_ makes _total sense._ So, what, you gonna poke a hole in my chest and stick your dick in it?”

He gave her another look of confusion. “Of course not. Angel reproduction is done orally.”

“Orally?” she repeated. “So, what, I blow you and your swimmers are supposed to magically make their way down to my chest cavity?”

“Of course not. First they’ll gestate in your throat before migrating downward once they’re larger. In the end, they will be birthed through your mouth as well, and we shall have to find vessels to house them.”

“So, you’re telling me that angels have _throat ovaries?”_ she screeched, making a mental note to never, ever give her angelic boyfriend a blowjob ever again. 

Castiel winced. “In essence, yes. It is a bit more complicated than that, but I suppose if you wanted to simplify it then, yes, angels have throat ovaries.”

“No,” she said firmly. “No, no, no. That’s not going to even work. I’m a demon. That would _kill me.”_

Castiel cleared his throat. “Well, we could do it another way.”

“I’m not drinking your jizz. This isn’t a porno.”

Castiel looked down at his shoes, suddenly embarrassed. “Angel reproduction doesn’t, I mean, it does not require sperm. It requires part of an angel’s essence. Any angel can impregnate another.”

“So, you wanna find an angel to surrogate?” she asked. She liked that idea much better. 

“No, I was thinking, well…it is possible, with a little bit of stretching and flexibility, for a human man to, well–”

“You want me to help you blow yourself?” Meg guessed. 

“While I would prefer for the child to be from both of us, it might be the only way, if you are not willing to carry it close to your heart.”

Meg wrinkled her nose at his phrasing, but it was clear that Castiel wouldn’t let the topic go. Besides, if it worked, she had a whole two years to prepare for the arrival of their angelic bundle of joy. 

Plus, she wouldn’t have to carry it. 

Meg sighed and sat back down on the bed. “Okay. We’ll do that.”

Castiel brightened and pulled her into a hug. “I am so excited for us, Meg.”

She rolled her eyes and pushed him away. “Alright. Get undressed. We’ll figure this out.”

Meg shook her head as Castiel obeyed her. She was going to help her angelic boyfriend get himself pregnant with their baby. 

Life in Hell had been much simpler than her life topside was, but it wasn’t nearly as much fun.


End file.
